Lawyer Johnson has been kind enough to book me for his new mic at the Woodshed Sports Bar. So come on down and...IS ANYONE READING THIS? MY SITE SAYS I HAVE TRAFFIC SO I THINK SOMEONE IS. COME ON DOWN AND SUPPORT LOCAL COMEDY! ITS SO LOCAL IT WILL SEEM DISTANT! ALL MATTRESSES ARE 110% OFF YOUR FIRST PURCHASE OF $837 BUY NOW BEFORE THAT OTHER GUY! WE'RE GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! I'M JUMPING TO MY DEATH FOR YOUR SAVINGS! IF ANY BLOOD GETS ON YOUR CAR FROM THE BLOOD SPLATTER WHEN MY BODY EXPLODES ON IMPACT IN SUCH A HORRIFYING YET ARTISTIC WAY YOU GET A COUPON FOR BUY 1 GET 1 FREEEE!!!!! TELL MY WIFE AND SON I LOVE THEM BUT IF YOU CAN ONLY TELL ONE OF THEM TELL MY SON!